On Dogs and Cats, and Unfortunately, Death

“‘It’s dreadful, isn’t it?'” “‘What? Death?'” “Yes. It makes everything else seem so horribly trivial. He doesn’t look human. When you look at him you can hardly persuade yourself that he’s ever been alive. It’s hard to think that not so very many years ago he was just a little boy tearing down the hill and flying a kite.'” (Somerset Maugham, The Painted Veil.) I just walked over to open my window as it was getting hot in my living room. I was all ready to start working; I had my coffee ready, a handful of stolen mini eggs from my kids’ Easter baskets had just been eaten, and all that was left was to let in some fresh air to counteract the effects of blind-less south-facing windows. And then I stopped. My dogs were sitting, or lying, in the sun, right outside the window. It was strange because they never sit outside that particular window. And so I looked again, closer this time. There was something else lying at their feet. Something black and fuzzy and – Oh My God!! It was a cat. Asleep….no, no, no, no. Shit. Not a sleeping cat. There was a ratty looking, but formerly fuzzy-looking, dead cat lying at my dog’s feet. It was black, just like them. Well, it still is black. It’s weird. I want to speak of it in the past tense because it is in the past tense, now. […]

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The Culmination of My Food Story, aka, Part Two.

I wasn’t actually going to write the second part right away. I was going to let it sit for a few days, maybe get some other work done. But I feel like I need to finish it now. I feel like the beginning was so dark and depressing that there needs to be some light at the end of this, there needs to be something hopeful and happy. Basically, I’m all gung ho to get this done and finished and walk away with a smile on my face. Until I realized I’d have to write it and share it. Because the first part feels very much like a past me, a much older version that is so far gone that to share her story would not be as vulnerable as sharing mine now (Yes, again I am in split personality mode, I can’t help it. It’s just the way it seems to be going. You’ll just have to go with it.). To continue from where I left off means to enter into more of my present, more into the part of me that people see and face every day (Ha! Well, not every day since I leave my house as little as possible.). It probably seems strange as I did pour my heart out in that last post, but when I hit the publish button, I didn’t feel like I was really revealing something crazy, because it was over, I’ve […]

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Happy Birthday, Dad

It’s my dad’s birthday today, his 65th. Or, it would have been were he here to celebrate it. I say celebrate in a strictly physical, earthly sense, because I know he is out there. He’s just not walking and talking in a three-dimensional form like the rest of us warm-blooded human beings. He’s at that whole other level where things like breathing […]

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A Rather Unexpected Wake Up Call

I sat down to write this morning, or just now, and was caught up listening to the new Christmas playlist I’d made. So I figured, instead of working on my novel, I’d take the time to enjoy the music a little and write a blog instead. And then up came Chuck Wendig’s blog post of the morning and it left me so completely…well, I don’t even know. I’m sitting here stunned. Moved. You know that feeling when someone says something that stops you from continuing on as the ignoramus that you were?  It like you were all happy and ready to move forward, tail in hand, direct line established and then someone walks up, puts a blindfold around your eyes, spins you around about fifteen times and then pushes you forward saying, “There, go find the tail on that donkey now!” That’s how I feel. Like he spun me around just enough to lose my bearings. To take this life I’m living, that I think I’m pretty okay with, and make me wonder if I’m not seeing things clearly enough. And I take a great deal of pride in the fact that I try to see the world pretty equally, that I try to see things from both sides, have empathy for others. But then you read something like that and wonder, “Am I doing enough?” “Do I really see things from all sides?” “When have I been close-minded and too privileged […]

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