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Movie Review: Kingsman

First things first, is it The Kingsman, or Kingsman? Oh, Kingsman: The Secret Service. But that’s not actually the first thing, first thing is that I have to explain why I’m doing this. I am not a movie reviewer. In general, I despise movie reviews because they tend to be the bitter ramblings of angry reporters who never made it […]

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The Culmination of My Food Story, aka, Part Two.

I wasn’t actually going to write the second part right away. I was going to let it sit for a few days, maybe get some other work done. But I feel like I need to finish it now. I feel like the beginning was so dark and depressing that there needs to be some light at the end of this, there needs to be something hopeful and happy. Basically, I’m all gung ho to get this done and finished and walk away with a smile on my face. Until I realized I’d have to write it and share it. Because the first part feels very much like a past me, a much older version that is so far gone that to share her story would not be as vulnerable as sharing mine now (Yes, again I am in split personality mode, I can’t help it. It’s just the way it seems to be going. You’ll just have to go with it.). To continue from where I left off means to enter into more of my present, more into the part of me that people see and face every day (Ha! Well, not every day since I leave my house as little as possible.). It probably seems strange as I did pour my heart out in that last post, but when I hit the publish button, I didn’t feel like I was really revealing something crazy, because it was over, I’ve […]

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My Incredibly Long Food Story

You know those movies where multiple story lines are going all at once that seem completely unconnected but slowly come together in some huge climactic culmination? I love those kinds of movies, I think perhaps because they remind me so much of my own life. How can a movie with multiple characters remind me of my life, you ask? No, I do not have split personality disorder. But think about it for a moment… There are so many aspects to our lives, so many roles we play, so many hats we put on that we end up playing many different characters within this one lifetime: child, sibling, spouse, adult, teenager, friend, enemy and so forth. We are playing multiple parts at any given time. Look at the person whose career is skyrocketing while his homelife is failing. Or the one who seems to have a plethora of friends and family but no time for a career, or their health? Doesn’t it sometimes feels like so many parts of us are going in opposite directions and we just need them to come together, but have no idea if or when that will ever happen? That is how I am beginning to feel, or have felt for a long time. I’ve been very aware of the various hats I try to fill and how I only manage to get them about half way until I’m pulled in another direction, never feeling like […]

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Happy Birthday, Dad

It’s my dad’s birthday today, his 65th. Or, it would have been were he here to celebrate it. I say celebrate in a strictly physical, earthly sense, because I know he is out there. He’s just not walking and talking in a three-dimensional form like the rest of us warm-blooded human beings. He’s at that whole other level where things like breathing […]

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Fatherhood vs Motherhood, or, The Hero and the Nothing

I just saw a post on Facebook where someone is making a new page, “Dads Winning at Fatherhood,” (or something like that, it’s probably best that I don’t know the exact wording in case they decide to attack me for hating their wonderful page idea.) and it angers me. The pages was simply pictures of dads playing with their kids, letting their daughter’s paint their nails, having a tea party, reading to their children on the subway, and so forth. Basically, pictures of dads just being dads. Parenting. Doing exactly what is expected of a parent. Things mothers do Every. Single. Day. No, I’m not asking for gratification. I’m not asking for a “Mom’s Winning at Fatherhood” page on Facebook, hell, I feel like I lose a lot more than I win. But why, when a father steps up and parent’s his child, as they should considering it is their kid too, is it a huge cause for celebration and when a mom does the same thing, it is overlooked? I am so sick and tired of the double standard between mothers and fathers. For instance: My husband started a company, a business (not by himself, if anyone thinks I’m trying to give him all the credit, I’m not) and there was absolutely no question that he would do it. He wanted something more out of his career and it was a no-brainer. Go for it, take a chance in life! Yay! […]

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Oh Monday, my Love

“You never know how much you love something until it’s gone.” “You never know what you had until you’ve lost it.” “You can’t appreciate what you’ve got until you no longer have it.” And so on, and so on. That can be such a depressing quote, or, it is so often used in sad situations. When a loved one dies, when a relationship is over, when the world ends and you no longer have the amenities of modern living. Or, like us this weekend, no power or water for 5 hours at -35. But it can also be so uplifting because you can truly appreciate the thing you love so much more when you get it back (assuming it can come back, so obviously I’m not talking about death or the apocalypse right now. Although, even that is open for discussion. Just not here, today.) Like, you forget how amazing a cold glass of water can taste until you’ve hiked through the desert for hours with an empty canteen. Or you forget how much you love your dog until he comes bounding up at you like he’s been waiting his whole lifetime for you, even if you’ve only been gone fifteen minutes. Or you forget how truly amazing air conditioning is until you’ve spent several hours at 40 degrees (celcius) with 100% humidity. In those cases, that quote can be pretty amazing. When you remember how much you really did love it. Like […]

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A Rather Unexpected Wake Up Call

I sat down to write this morning, or just now, and was caught up listening to the new Christmas playlist I’d made. So I figured, instead of working on my novel, I’d take the time to enjoy the music a little and write a blog instead. And then up came Chuck Wendig’s blog post of the morning and it left me so completely…well, I don’t even know. I’m sitting here stunned. Moved. You know that feeling when someone says something that stops you from continuing on as the ignoramus that you were?  It like you were all happy and ready to move forward, tail in hand, direct line established and then someone walks up, puts a blindfold around your eyes, spins you around about fifteen times and then pushes you forward saying, “There, go find the tail on that donkey now!” That’s how I feel. Like he spun me around just enough to lose my bearings. To take this life I’m living, that I think I’m pretty okay with, and make me wonder if I’m not seeing things clearly enough. And I take a great deal of pride in the fact that I try to see the world pretty equally, that I try to see things from both sides, have empathy for others. But then you read something like that and wonder, “Am I doing enough?” “Do I really see things from all sides?” “When have I been close-minded and too privileged […]

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The Crushing Pain of Conforming, aka, The Terrible Task of Parenting a Savage

Okay, this is one of those blogs, that inevitable one where a parent must write about their child. This is that one, I think. I’m never really sure until I get to the end. This morning I was packing my son’s backpack and found his homework sheet that he’d (ahem, finally!) remembered to bring home from school. At first I got ready to get angry at him because I thought he’d forgotten again, that this was last week’s homework sheet and he’d forgotten to bring home the current one for the third time. Why? Because it was completed. Every blank space was filled in. Every math question answered. He had nothing to do but review. Whaaaaaaaaaat?!?! This is not normal for my son. Homework is a struggle. School is a struggle. Sitting down for five goddamn minutes and paying attention to anything is a struggle. Except Lego and Video Games. He’s got that mastered to an art of hours-long mind-numbing focus. Which is why I don’t think he’s ADHD. And why he’s not medicated. But also why some days I really wish he was if only to make the struggle that is school a little easier. Why must school just be something to survive? To get through? Why must I dread going to pick up my son and facing the teacher to hear of the daily transgressions and messes he has accomplished while let loose among 29 other 7-year-olds who are […]

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My Enlightened Shadow-Side

So I was listening to a meditation this morning (no, don’t worry, I’m not going to get all enlightened on you. For one, I don’t know how. For two, well, just refer back to one) and it talked about opening up to our dark sides, the areas of our lives we’d rather not look at…our Shadow-Side. And in doing so, we would be modeling a way for others in bringing our darkness into the light. And I thought to myself, I do that all the time! Look at me, I’m an enlightened soul! Okay, not so much. But it did get me thinking a little and wondering why exactly I feel so compelled to point out my flaws, my screw ups, my stupid assumptions all over facebook and now on this blog. And when it comes down to it, I write it because those are the funny bits. Those are the parts of my life that make me laugh (and this is all about me remember, so if it makes ME laugh, I’m putting it on here. Who cares about you! Okay, I’m kidding. I couldn’t even let that go without a disclaimer. Definitely an overactive need-to-please gland…). But getting back to things: my flaws, my screw ups, those are what makes me, well, me. They’re what make me quirky and funny and sometimes annoying and sometimes endearing, depending who you talk to. And isn’t that true for all of us? […]

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