I sat down to write this morning, or just now, and was caught up listening to the new Christmas playlist I’d made. So I figured, instead of working on my novel, I’d take the time to enjoy the music a little and write a blog instead. And then up came Chuck Wendig’s blog post of the morning and it left me so completely…well, I don’t even know. I’m sitting here stunned. Moved. You know that feeling when someone says something that stops you from continuing on as the ignoramus that you were? It like you were all happy and ready to move forward, tail in hand, direct line established and then someone walks up, puts a blindfold around your eyes, spins you around about fifteen times and then pushes you forward saying, “There, go find the tail on that donkey now!” That’s how I feel. Like he spun me around just enough to lose my bearings. To take this life I’m living, that I think I’m pretty okay with, and make me wonder if I’m not seeing things clearly enough. And I take a great deal of pride in the fact that I try to see the world pretty equally, that I try to see things from both sides, have empathy for others. But then you read something like that and wonder, “Am I doing enough?” “Do I really see things from all sides?” “When have I been close-minded and too privileged […]
Okay, this is one of those blogs, that inevitable one where a parent must write about their child. This is that one, I think. I’m never really sure until I get to the end. This morning I was packing my son’s backpack and found his homework sheet that he’d (ahem, finally!) remembered to bring home from school. At first I got ready to get angry at him because I thought he’d forgotten again, that this was last week’s homework sheet and he’d forgotten to bring home the current one for the third time. Why? Because it was completed. Every blank space was filled in. Every math question answered. He had nothing to do but review. Whaaaaaaaaaat?!?! This is not normal for my son. Homework is a struggle. School is a struggle. Sitting down for five goddamn minutes and paying attention to anything is a struggle. Except Lego and Video Games. He’s got that mastered to an art of hours-long mind-numbing focus. Which is why I don’t think he’s ADHD. And why he’s not medicated. But also why some days I really wish he was if only to make the struggle that is school a little easier. Why must school just be something to survive? To get through? Why must I dread going to pick up my son and facing the teacher to hear of the daily transgressions and messes he has accomplished while let loose among 29 other 7-year-olds who are […]
My Enlightened Shadow-Side.
So I was listening to a meditation this morning (no, don’t worry, I’m not going to get all enlightened on you. For one, I don’t know how. For two, well, just refer back to one) and it talked about opening up to our dark sides, the areas of our lives we’d rather not look at…our Shadow-Side. And in doing so, we would be modeling a way for others in bringing our darkness into the light. And I thought to myself, I do that all the time! Look at me, I’m an enlightened soul! Okay, not so much. But it did get me thinking a little and wondering why exactly I feel so compelled to point out my flaws, my screw ups, my stupid assumptions all over facebook and now on this blog. And when it comes down to it, I write it because those are the funny bits. Those are the parts of my life that make me laugh (and this is all about me remember, so if it makes ME laugh, I’m putting it on here. Who cares about you! Okay, I’m kidding. I couldn’t even let that go without a disclaimer. Definitely an overactive need-to-please gland…). But getting back to things: my flaws, my screw ups, those are what makes me, well, me. They’re what make me quirky and funny and sometimes annoying and sometimes endearing, depending who you talk to. And isn’t that true for all of us? […]
Did anyone else catch the not so commonly used expression I used at the end of my last blog post? I sure as hell didn’t. As far as I was concerned, there are red-bellied cowards. Aren’t they the only kind? Yeah, until I was informed that the saying is yellow-bellied…Yellow! Whoops. But my screw up makes sense if you know me. I am the type of person who counts eggs before they hatch, not chickens, because why would you count chickens? Just as you should not keep all those aforementioned eggs in one basket. Or, in my case, do not keep all your fish in one basket. Because, who doesn’t keep their fish in baskets? Yes, that’s right. I said that. I have also hit the hammer on the nail and the head on the hammer, things have cost me an arm and a foot, I have barked up the wrong forest, I have beat around the roses, I have seen the tiger in the room, not an elephant, because really, how could an elephant even get through the door? All of these and more have acquired me the nickname Huxley, for those of you who can even remember that movie (If you don’t, go watch it, it’s so good! If you like that kind of thing. Again, that’s only my opinion.). Demolition Man, circa 1993, with Sylvestor Stallone and Sandra Bullock, who plays this do-gooder cop who loves all the phrases and expressions […]
For lack of a better way to put this, I have had some major sinus problems lately. Like stuffy, runny nose all. the. time. Like for months (yes, this problem makes me revert to teen-speak, like, it’s that bad). Really though, it’s driving me crazy. I practically had a trip to Mexico planned to have my teeth removed and implants put in because my top teeth hurt so bad until my dentist suggested the pain may be from my sinuses and not the fact that I have the teeth of a baby inside my adult head. Not only did I nearly have perfectly good body parts removes because of my stuffy nose, but I’m starting to look like the Living Walking Dead, by which I mean my skin is not rotting and peeling off my body and I can mostly walk in a functional manner, but my eyes are so black I could pass as a zombie. At one point a friend saw me without undereye makeup and shrieked, “Do you have a blood disorder?” Yeah, it was lovely. Finally having enough of this, I decided to go back to the doctor and whine and complain until he decided to finally do something about this (besides giving me some kind of nasal spray that felt like tiny darts impaling themselves across the front of my forehead). He sent me for a CT scan. I have never had a CT scan before and I […]